PATIENCE

T_T

nagalit saken yung asawa ko kagabi! yeah! hahahaha.. pag iniicp ko, natutuwa ako.. pero, during that time na galit cia, nakakatakot... hayy..

I have this friend that was once my suitor. Many times kcng rejected kaya medyo away away kame at ngaun term lng ulit kme nag-usap - BLOCK p.. medyo ayaw ata ng asawa ko na lagi kaming magkasama. Hindi naman maiiwasan kc pareho kame ng TRACK and close friend din cia nila TONIX and CHEN. I have no objections, either... kaso, all of a sudden, bigla na lng ciang nabbadtrip pag nakikita niyang kasama ko yung asawa ko or pinaguusapan lng namin cia. Worst, nimura niya c TONIX yesterday ng "F*ck you".. awww.. dun ako medyo nainis. Ang iniicp niya, sinet-up cia ni TONIX na makita akong kasama yung asawa ko. anu namang masama dun,db? Asawa ko yun kaya kasama ko!! Tsaka, bakit cia magagalit?!!

Ang alam ko mei nililigawan cia matagal na. Sign of relief yun para saken kc at least "akala ko" naka-move on na.. Tapos kahapon, bigla na lng sasabihin saken ni TONIX and CHEN na affected pa rin cia..

First thing! I dont think that he should be affected although mei past feelings cia para saken. Kaso, taking into consideration na mei niligawan cia, I guess its improper. Second thing! Bakit niya kelangang magbitiw ng "foul words" and take note, sa isang close friend pa na wala namang bad intention tlga. Lastly, he has no right to get angry. Sabihin na nating unconciously yun or human nature,.. pero dapat, he should watch his actions and words. nakakasakit na cia.. AGAIN..

I felt bad kc, in one way of another, involve ako d2.. hayy, little boy talaga..tsaka kc friend ko cia and we had a good friendship way back then.

o? bakit puro tungkol sa taong 'to?? (magagalit na naman yung isa dyan pag nabasa 'to!! nyahaha..)

My husband was a little annoyed and disappointed yesterday. galit nga daw sya, sabi niya. nagalit pala. hahahaha! parang hindi naman.. kc hindi ko daw cia dinaanan sa OPEN LAB and tapos, paglabas pa niya, nakita niya kaming magkakasama.. kasama dun yung person na kanina ko pa inukwento sa taas.. e ayaw niya dun!

sa dinami dami na kaaayawan niya, dun pa sa taong yun..he's a lot lot lot better naman. (pwede bang "best" na?? nyahahaha..) what i'm trying to point out is that, he (asawa ko) shouldn't be jealous.. siya na nga pinili ko e! magalit nlng cia pag nakipaghiwalay ako sa kanya.. patagal pa naman yun! ahahaha! baka hindi na nga ako makipaghiwalay e.. (sana po, Lord! please..) hahahaha! :) malas lng niya.. hahaha..

haba na nito..

next time again.. :)

REALIZATION

hello!! wee..

I'm here ulit sa I&C Laboratory.. duty ko.. as usual, wla nnmn akong magawa, kaya blog muna.. humm.. :) saya d2, sobrang lamig talga.. (hindi nagrereply yung asawa ko.. T_T panget tlaga..) knina nand2 si sir yves, kwento knwento tapos ngbigay ng tips sa knight fight.. hindi pa kc ako nagccmula.. awww.. (ayun! nagmiscol na yung panget.. hahaha! sa wakas.. c:)

inaayos namin kagabi yung adaptor ni ate! waaa! grabe! saya! naayos nmin cia! hihi.. kahit wasak wasak na yung casing.. sakit nga lang sa kamay kc naiipit.. :D

anyways.. binigyan niya ako yesterday ng card! hahaha! I really 'loved' the statement there..the writings, i guess.. I just hope he meant everthing that he said.. uhmm.. err.. hahaha! I was very happy that I dont know what to think that time.. natatawa rin kc ako.. hahahah!

basta..

mei iniicp ako,.. mei narealized ako.. at ayaw kong sabihin.. :)

bwahahahaha!

RANDOM

Got nothing to do, kaya puro blogging yung gngawa ko d2 sa IRC.. hmm.. mukhang mapapa-daily yung pagppost ko d2 sa blog a..

anyways, magaan pa yung work ko and I'm looking forward for more difficult tasks. Anlamig talaga d2.. T_T tirahan daw kc ng mga polar bears. hahahaha!

Ui! nga pala! nag-create ako ng account sa Knight Fight! e hindi ko naman alam kung anung gagawin! nyhaha! anu ba yun? epal lng yung paggawa ko. hahaha! d bale.. pag-uwi ko sa bahay!!!

9:45 plang kc d2.. e hanggang 12pm yung duty ko.. kamusta naman.. wala na kong maicp na gagawin.. hahahaha! :D

napaka-random ng mga statements ko ngaun.. (**sigh**)

miss ko na honey ko..

anyways, mmya nlng ulit!!!

Current Listening to: "I knew I Loved you" by Savage Garden

First Month

nand2 ako ngaun sa IRC! Hahahaha! First time.. nakakatuwa.. :) na medyo scary kc hnd ko pa alam masyado yung gagawin.. hayy.. naku! scary talaga..

iniicp ko, pano kung pa-connect saken yung ganito ganyan, e hindi ko alam! waaa! T_T

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until now, I'm asking myself, why I kept on doing so many things. Bat ang hilig kong pagsabaysabayin yung napakaraming bagay?! SA-IECEPofficer-student-friends-family-boyfriend-and so on.. I realized early this morning that I'm looking for something of which I have no idea what it is. Something that would satisfy me.

Bored lng ba talaga ako?!

hahahaha! cguro, I'm just that type of person na hindi mapakali sa isang bagay and always involves herself in different matters.

When will I stop?

Finally, I now know what to do.. :)

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Happy Monthsary, Honey...

I Love You! :)

SWOLLEN EYES

Mom and I had a fight “AGAIN” (hey, what’s new!?) yesterday. And oh! Don’t worry; it’s my fault – me and my nasty attitude again. Ha-ha! **sigh**

Yet somehow it made me feel better (after 3 straight hours of crying... Now, uhm... err, I don’t remember the last time I cried that long. Oh, never mind.). Yes, it’s ok to cry once in a while (it can make your eyes look more beautiful! Ha-ha! And it can wash away the dirt within (or along??) your eyeballs...nyahahaha!) Aside from that, it can help you realize many things – dreadful things to be exact. Putting into consideration that you’re tired and angry at the same time... wah! Girl, you’re ready to kill someone (not your mother, of course...)


Here are some of my thoughts that time:

- “There’s no such thing as perfect - and that includes my relationship with my mom.”
- “If I am given a chance to choose whether to live as an orphan or live with my family right now, I’d rather choose to be an orphan. At least, they have the right to be angry at their parents who left them... while I don’t even have the right to at least argue with them... Worst, I don’t know what to do anymore! Given two options: a) should I pity myself or b) curse and kill myself for not being a good person. It’s silly of me to be thinking this way – but I think “B” is a better answer, isn’t it? Unless somebody would give me other choices – “c” or “d”?
- “I want to be a better person – but not for my mom.”
Words that keep on living on my mouth that time: “I wanna die... I wanna die...” – so selfish of me.
- “Why am I supposed to understand them and not them, understanding me??”
- “I wanna get off of this house; live somewhere else... but Gahd! How??? Fifty pesos lang ata yung pera ko...”

See, I’m angry. AND FUNNY!!! Nyahahaha... Good gracious! Will somebody help me!?? Hahahahaha! It’s always like that: the realizations are the same; thoughts are still dreadful and morbid, questions are still the questions and the answers are all the unchanged yet they never satisfy.

I cry every time I remember my dad’s face. I so love my dad. It’s him why I kept on going... it’s him why I’m still living... and that’s because, I really, really love him.

Yet, it’s the same with my mom. Honestly, I almost cried when she told me to eat by lunch a while ago (**sob**). Mothers are all like that. I know she never meant to hurt me that great. Yet, for now I’ve decided to slow down a little bit on her. Talk less. Smile less. I think it’ll be better that way until I finally prove “it” to her and to myself, as well.

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Half of my realizations are horrible, I know. Half of it is about someone else very, very special. I smile every time I remember his face. He made me feel better. Its good thing to know that there’s somebody out there who loves you all the way. And I thank God that he came.

How I wish he will stay... forever.

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I love you, Daddy.

I love you, Mama.

I love my family.

I love him.

Andrew, I love you…

BACK AGAIN

"i hate you and then i love you.. it's like i want to throw you off a cliff.. then rush to the bottom to catch you.."

- from zhela

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hey! it's been quite a while..

i have many updates:

1. been lazy the past term that i learned to skip classes.
2. i'm on a dorm (have i said it already??)
3. we went ice skating on the last week..
4. been in love..
5. last,.. i'm not single anymore.. :)

oh, well.. i'm happy more than ever. hope, it'll last... forever..

although..

there aren't things that last forever, ne?

Yare yare,.. *sigh*

Ja ne! :)

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sa susunod nlng yung full detail ng story. i'm not on the right mood.