Don’t shout at me. I’m not deaf.
You wanted to slap me. Go on ‘till you see blood flowing down my face. I’d be delighted if you’ve done that. But why did you not continue?
Black sheep. Ha! Am I? Really? I think you lost part your memory? Try to recall...
Don’t give me an excuse that you’re sick, that I should understand your situation. I’m damn sick of understanding you. I’m sick of always understanding other people!!!
You’re over-reacting. You’re stubborn. Your reasons are pointless and not right anymore. You tend to say things which are not relevant. You think that you’re always right. Stop acting as if you’re the victim, and as if I’ve done a serious crime! And please, you do not need to destroy things!
====
I wanted to runaway. I thought of it the whole day. But, there’s this part of my brain that wouldn’t allow that to happen. There’s a part of my heart wanting to stay because I love them. There’s a part of me that wouldn’t be complete if I leave them.
They’ve hurt me so bad, but I still love them. I always thought of their happiness and how to please them. How could they say those words? How could they upset me? Don’t they know that I always thought of them? Don’t they ever notice that I always look for ways on how to put a smile on their faces? Don’t they recognize that I’ve been very weary planning and thinking of a future not for myself, but for them?
I’m not a good girl. I’m not an angel. And definitely, not a saint. Why am I so kind? That, I do not know either.
But maybe, just maybe: “Blood is thicker than water”…
You wanted to slap me. Go on ‘till you see blood flowing down my face. I’d be delighted if you’ve done that. But why did you not continue?
Black sheep. Ha! Am I? Really? I think you lost part your memory? Try to recall...
Don’t give me an excuse that you’re sick, that I should understand your situation. I’m damn sick of understanding you. I’m sick of always understanding other people!!!
You’re over-reacting. You’re stubborn. Your reasons are pointless and not right anymore. You tend to say things which are not relevant. You think that you’re always right. Stop acting as if you’re the victim, and as if I’ve done a serious crime! And please, you do not need to destroy things!
====
I wanted to runaway. I thought of it the whole day. But, there’s this part of my brain that wouldn’t allow that to happen. There’s a part of my heart wanting to stay because I love them. There’s a part of me that wouldn’t be complete if I leave them.
They’ve hurt me so bad, but I still love them. I always thought of their happiness and how to please them. How could they say those words? How could they upset me? Don’t they know that I always thought of them? Don’t they ever notice that I always look for ways on how to put a smile on their faces? Don’t they recognize that I’ve been very weary planning and thinking of a future not for myself, but for them?
I’m not a good girl. I’m not an angel. And definitely, not a saint. Why am I so kind? That, I do not know either.
But maybe, just maybe: “Blood is thicker than water”…
1 comment:
sounds like napagalitan ka na naman... hmmm... inilalabas ang galit through blogging. something na matagal ko nang d nagawa. waaa. i miss blogging. andami ko na kasing ginagawa eh. (yes, yes, i know, sabi mo mo kung gusto mong gawin you'll really find time to do it.) hehe... pero i dont know. wala na akong masulat. dried out na mind ko. i miss hanging out. miss ko na ang simple na buhay. gusto ko na mag quit. waaa. parang ginagawa ko to na blog ah. hehe. wala lang. reaction lang. naku! im taking my studies for granted na. pero ok lang. perfect naman ako sa mech exam (yes, a lie told a thousand times becomes the truth talaga). Actually salamat kay cam kasi siya ang nag tutor sa akin. pero she feels bad kasi mas mataas na naman ako sa kanya. i feel bad na rin. kasi lagi yun nangyayari eh. im so hindi nakikinig and hindi siniseryoso ang studies, then magpapaturo ako sa inyo, then mataas na kuha ko. thats why i really need you guys. ay ang selfish na reason ko. kaya nga na-giguilty na talaga ako everytime na kokopya ako ng homework or whatever. sana naman ay minsan wag nyo ako pa kopyahin kahit gaano ka dami ang ginagawa ko. miss ko na talaga kayo. may Mapua on Sale naman pala ulit sa January. Pero malunkot ako dahil meron ulit. Kasi kung papasa ako sa builder i need to conver it naman and i cant be with you ulit. wa. gusto ko na mag quit!!! nag away pala kami ng adviser... thats why ayoko na dun. pero ok naman kami ngayon. medyo complicated lang ang situation. waaaaa. thats the key word. COMPLICATED. you said it yourself. Ayokona talaga. Siguro happy na rin ako kahit hindi ako papasa sa builder. D ko naman ginusto talaga na umabot sa ganitong stage eh. nainggit lang ako sa inyo ni gretchen dahil kukuha kayo ng exam and ako hindi. tapos [ deleted kasi... ]na makasama. kahit yun ang pina ka "hellish" na exam na kinuha ko masaya pa rin ako. hehe. waaaa. noon ang simple ng buhay natin! studies lang talaga ang problema. ngayon! psh! waaaa! gusto ko bumalik na ang lahat sa dati. sana hindi na tayo kumuha ng exam sa builder. gusto ko parang last term ulit or the previous terms ulit. wala bang reset button ang buhay? naku!!! Reign... sorry ha. parang hindi na to reaction. parang dito ko na rin inilabas ang galit at sama ng loob ko. kasi binabasa nila ang blog ko eh. ayoko na malaman nila ang mga... d ko gusto na malaman nila. ang gulo! waaa. may limit ba tong reaction na to? walang spell checker to ha. kasi tagalog/filipino. hehe. ayokona mag english! waaaa. Reign. Reign. Hanna. Ang saya ulit ulitin. Nung huling mga araw na to (these past few days... incase mali grammar ko sa filipino) walang laman ang utak ko but builder builder builder bisnes. (spelling?) tapos nung pumasok ka sa mind ko tinext kita agad. kaya lang wala naman signal sa bahay mo. ayoko naman tumawag dahil lang sa reason na naisip kita. pero i find comfort in thinking of happy thoughts. masaya ka kasi na kasama. waaaa. why im i saying that here? pwede mo naman to e edit/delete no? bahala ka na dito. paki edit nalang. (shet yan lagi sinasabi nila sakin, editor in chief daw kasi ako.) pero d ko lang alam. ang gulo na. ang gulo!!! waaaa. parang ayoko na talaga. ok lang ba sayo if i quit? hmmm... pero sayang. three weeks nalang. taposin ko nalang and lets see kung ano mangyayari. pero clasmate pa rin tayo next term kahit ano mangyari ha. isa ka talaga sa mga taong hindi ko makalimutan. wag mo akong iwan ha! haay. yan. medyo naubusan na rin ako ng mga masabi. ang haba na pala ng nasulat ko? hmmm... wla na ako masabi na pwede kong sabihin dito sa blog mo. I'll find other ways nalang. ay hindi pala capital letters ang start ng sentences ko. tamad ako. waa. ganyan talaga ako tamad. ang tamad ko. bakit. inggit ako sayo. sabi mo lang na tamad ka rin pero sa tingin ko masipag ka talaga. kaya medyo naging masipag din ako last term. masipag ba ako last term? ewan ko. parang hindi rin eh. ginusto ko lang cguro na magin masipag. pero hindi ko alam kung nagawa ko o hindi. ngayon tamad pa rin ako. marami lang ginagawa. cguro reason ko na rin ang builder para hindi mag aral muna. kasi nung una parang laro lang ang pagsusulat eh. seryosong bagay pala. ngayon ang pagaaral naman pinaglalaruan ko. waaa. pareho lang tayo na gusto maging seryoso. uy starstruck lumalabas sa TV. sali tayo. nyahaha. d. wag. ikaw nalang. ayoko. hehe. d naman masaya ang buhay kung seryoso ka eh. so ok lang na wer just having fun. as long as tama lang ang ginagawa at walang bagsak or mababang grade. ano ba yan hindi ko na alam ang pinagsusulat ko. hmmm... stop na ako dito. pero wala lang. medyo nawala ang konteng pagod at sama ng loob ko kung nagsusulat ako dito eh. salamat ha. sa lahat. salamat talaga. Reign. Sige, una na ko. Ingat ha. Smile lagi. :D
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